Joy Aston published this post on Joy's Advice to Young Mums website
Motherhood is the most natural thing in the world. If men think about the 'S' word once every eight minutes during the day (and it's not 'Satsuma'!) then women think about not what goes in, but what comes out of their bodies once the 'S' act has been performed (again, not 'Satsuma', though we did have a Burmese ladyboy in casualty once with a kumqat lodged in his/her anus, but that's another story).
Yes, the desire to create a new life is entirely natural - and yet the act of pushing said new life from your stomach into the nicotine-stained hands of an elderly Irish midwife does not seem natural at all. It hurts. A lot. And if you don't have the right professional help and advice, then you could end up being torn so badly, you won't know where your vagina ends and your anus begins (a bit like the Burmese ladyboy).
But fear not. Auntie Joy is here to hold your hand through the entire process and describe what will happen at every stage of your pregnancy. So even if you end up losing your voice through screaming during the lonely long hours of searing contractions, at least you'll think to yourself "I knew it would be like this. Joy told me."
To read more from Joy go to Joy's Advice to Young Mums website
See more