Jax at Mummy's Little Monkey published this post on 19 April, 2011...
Now, you don't exist on this planet for 38 years without picking up a few tricks.
I'm talking about those vital little life lessons that you wish you could take back in time with you, and impart to your younger self, to save yourself a whole pile of confusion, anguish and embarrassment.
Of course I'm now far too ancient to truly benefit from these revelations, so I plan to pass these golden nuggets on to my two girls instead.
I'm quite sure they won't listen to a single word of it. In fact, they'll probably only concede I was right all along when they're also way too old to put them to good use.
But at least then I get to look all smug, and say: 'I told you so!' (I'm looking forward to that part already...)
So, here they are - THE MUMMY COMMANDMENTS...
• Always be kind and considerate - there's nothing 'cool' about being rude. But don't let people walk all over you either.
• Boys will be mean - really mean - until you're well into your teens, and probably beyond. Don't take it personally.
• Get your eyebrows threaded. DO NOT go near them yourself with tweezers!! One over-zealous tweezing sesh can take months to put right.
• Remember that the Mean Girls of today are the underachievers of tomorrow. Bide your time - you will get the last laugh.
• Don't drive too fast.
• Resist the urge get an overdraft or a credit card. It always feels like free money, but juuuuuuust when you've spent it all, the bank will ask for it back - and more.
• Don't chew gum. It just looks yucky.
• Appreciate your sister. She'll drive you nuts, but family will always be there for you.
• Don't talk with your mouth full. And while we're talking table manners - close your darn knife and fork when you've finished eating.
• Stand up for yourself, and other people. If you disagree with the way you or someone else is being treated, don't be afraid to speak up.
• Don't use cheap fake tan - unless you actually like bright orange zebra stripes. It's always worth forking out more for the good stuff.
• Always say please, and thank you - even if people are being rude to you. There's something very satisfying about taking the moral high ground.
• Don't brush your teeth too hard - the dentist isn't lying when he says you'll wear your gums away.
• Don't believe everything you see and hear - especially when it comes to gossip. Find out the facts, and make your own decisions.
• Invest in a good pair of eyelash curlers.
• Don't judge. Just because someone lives differently to you, doesn't mean it's wrong.
• Always wear your seatbelt, yes, even when you're just going down the road.
• Don't start smoking - you'll only have to stop when you realise how disgusting it is, and that part really sucks.
• See the world.
• Don't be intimidated by people who seem to be perfect. They're not.
• Turn your iPod down a notch - you really will mess up your hearing.
• Wear SPF 15 moisturiser on your face every day - even in winter.
• Don't bitch behind people's backs. If you have a problem, say something or get over it.
• Stop worrying about what other people think of you, and just be happy!!
Do you have any pearls of wisdom to pass on to your little ones???
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