Heather published this post on 29 March, 2011...
This is me, age around nine, with one of the worst haircuts I have ever sported. Seriously, what was the hairdresser thinking? The honest answer is that I was probably desperate for this cut. I was an active child, so I bet I wanted something that meant I didn’t have to sit still for mum to do my hair. I wasn’t amused when other well-meaning mothers often mistook me for a boy, though.
Why was I so bothered?
Gender neutral parenting has been on my mind after seeing an American documentary on ‘Extreme Parenting’ recently. I was really surprised by the idea that gender neutral parenting is considered extreme. Oh yes, I’ve heard of parents who won’t reveal the gender of their child to anyone, and I can see that that’s pushing the boundaries, but the family in this documentary seemed, well, completely normal to me.
At 18 months I have no problem at all with what toys my twins play with. And I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if either of them wanted to try on my shoes or paint their faces.
In a way I would say having boy girl twins puts me at a real advantage. We have toys traditionally for boys – cars, trains etc, and toys traditionally for girls – tea set, toy buggy etc. Ez and Fonz have equal access to both, and on the whole play with both in equal measure, though Fonz is very car-obsessed.
There is one area in which we haven’t gone down the neutral path. Clothing. Sure my two share some jeans etc (and they used to share babygros) but mainly Ez wears skirts or dresses (I’m not that keen on pink though) and apart from that one time I accidentally put Fonz in a dress (I blame sleep deprivation), he’s dressed in trousers or dungarees. I’m not sure what this says about us? I know I’ve turned Ez into more of a mini-me than I would ever have thought I would. At the moment hair isn’t an issue. I haven’t needed to cut either twin’s hair yet, so I’ll leave that decision a little longer.
How do the roles fall in your house?
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