Jacqui at Mummy's Little Monkey published this post on 9 July, 2011...
Every Mum thinks their kid is pretty awesome, and I'm no exception. But I'm not in denial - I know that Big Sis ain't perfect.
Though she's been told off a million times, she still messes about with all the settings on my iPhone. The other day I caught her chatting away to my cousin. In Australia.
She draws on the walls with ball point pen, and climbs up on the bench to steal the chocolate biscuits. She sneaks tomatoes upstairs, and eats them hiding under her quilt.
When I tell her it's bedtime, she pleads 'Five minutes?' and when I refuse, she folds her arms, stamps her feet, and screams: 'I NOT HAPPY!'
But all-in-all she's a good kid. I've posted before about how manners are important to me, and I'm proud of the fact she (usually) says 'please' and 'thank you', and when I threaten to count to three, I've only ever made it to two (and a half...).
I'm used to people raving about how well-behaved, and endearing she is. Until this week.
I'd left her with a local childminder for a few hours.
'How was she?' I asked, when I called to collect her. It was a rhetorical question. Big Sis is confident, and funny, and outgoing (not like me - I was a painfully shy kid) and I knew she'd have a blast with the two other little girls.
But the woman just looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to figure out what to say. 'She's been... a handful,' she finally answered.
I was shocked into silence. While Big Sis can be a little monkey with me (hence the blog name) she's normally impeccably behaved around people she doesn't know well. 'What did she do?' I gasped.
The childminder explained that she'd refused to share with other girls. In fact she'd spent the whole time snatching toys off them - giving them a shove if they dared to resist. 'They were quite scared of her by the end of the day,' the childminder finished.
I was utterly horrified. I'd noticed her getting a bit possessive with her toys, especially now that Lil Sis was old enough to crawl over and grab them, but figured it was a natural adjustment period that all older kids went through. She'd never had to share before.
When I saw or heard her doing it at home I always told her off. If she carried on, or refused to apologise, it was a swift trip to the naughty step. Zero tolerance.
While Big Sis skipped off to the car, oblivious to the scandal swirling around her, I apologised profusely. I know it sounds dramatic, but I was really gutted!
Was my daughter was one of those kids - the ones you see barrelling around the soft play centre, knocking younger children out of their way like skittles? In fact Big Sis had fallen prey to this herself. Was she simply passing down the treatment she'd had dished out to her?
Five days later I'm still a bit bothered. I'm probably taking it way too personally, and seeing it as a reflection on my parenting. I know this kind of behaviour is all part of growing up, and learning acceptable social skills and boundaries - I just genuinely believed I'd taught her better than that. Was I simply expecting too much from a normal, active, excitable three-year-old?
So I'm amping up my efforts now, encouraging her to play with Lil Sis, and keeping a close eye on how they interact. I need to nip this in the bud before she starts preschool in September.
Did you have similar issue with your little ones? I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.
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